This is what the Sovereign Lord,
the Holy One of Israel, says:
“Only in returning to me
and resting in me will you be saved.
In quietness and trust is your strength.
Isaiah 30:15
I am feeling squeezed. The constant pressure to have a plan, a strategy for getting my family packed up and out of the house we have lived in for 8 very busy years is buzzing around my head like an angry mosquito. I am doing my best to keep relinquishing the burden, to keep my eyes on Jesus as the waves seem to soar ever higher but I admit that mosquito of worry has landed quite a few bites. And they ITCH!! Just like those angry red bites all over my legs, if I ignore them and continue to apply balm (aloe vera, essential oils, benadryl, ANYTHING and everything that will provide some relief), they will fade and stop distracting me from my very full daily life. It takes all of my prayers, grace, patience and then pushing past into all of God's infinite resources to get through the day.
“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today." Matthew 6:34. Why is this so incredibly hard?
Is this an uncomfortable place to be? YES!! Am I deepening and growing? Absolutely! Our plans for the future remain shrouded in uncertainty. I don't even know where we will live in 3 weeks when we have to be out of the house. And do we keep our stuff in storage or get rid of everything down to a suitcase of clothes each and some favorite books and toys? I find myself thinking of earthquake survivors in Nepal and war refugees in the Middle East. They didn't have a choice but to violently prioritize life over stuff, family over comfort. So I ponder wild plans like buying a camper and living minimally, going on a long roadtrip around the country visiting relatives. It's like having all of my comfort zones and outward support removed so that God can make more space for just Him. Finding my comfort and hope in Him alone, not my own actions or plans. Maybe it helps that this feels so monumentally beyond my control. I am forced to trust in a God who does crazy things like send bread from heaven, part waters, knock down kings and cities, and generally comes through for His people when they place their trust in Him. All of it. In Him ALONE.
"So the Lord must wait for you to come to him
so he can show you his love and compassion.
For the Lord is a faithful God.
Blessed are those who wait for his help."
Isaiah 30:18
In faith I am packing (not quickly enough!!). In faith I am trusting that God will meet our family's every need because He already knows them (even better than I do). In faith I am believing that bills will be paid and we will not be swallowed whole. In faith I am holding tightly to His hand while He gets rid of all the extras and excess so we can be rooted only in Him and free to serve wherever He leads.
"Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1
We still think that God is moving us towards Ireland and we do see pieces falling into place, a little more every day. And so I must wait and be quiet before Him so I can hear his voice.
"Your own ears will hear him.
Right behind you a voice will say,
“This is the way you should go,”
whether to the right or to the left."
Isaiah 30:21
Clinging desperately to Him,
Nicole
